Crazy Questions????

In my tenure as a belly dancer, I've been asked some crazy questions about the art and my own participation in it. Here are some of my favorite crazy questions:

1. Did you have to go to China to learn how to do that?
I've had variations on this so feel free to substitute any exotic far away country you'd like, but believe it or not China is the one most often mentioned. For the record - belly dance is a traditional folk dance from the Middle East. It can be found all over the world today - but it evolved in the Middle East. Traditionally this dance was done in Egypt, Turkey, North Africa, the Arabian Peninsula, and along the Silk Road. I learned in Atlanta, GA. Most larger towns have someone who teaches throughout the US. As far as I am aware China did not traditionally dance in a fashion that I would refer to as belly dance. ;)

2. Do you teach pole dancing too?
Nope. Never have - never will. Pole dancing has nothing to do with belly dance. It's sort of like asking a ballet teacher if they also teach cheer leading. Two completely unrelated art forms. I get this one a lot!

3. I saw (insert professional belly dancer's name here) last weekend on TV and I want to dance like that for my anniversary in a month. Can I take a couple of lessons to learn to do that?
Wow! This one, or one of it's common variations really blows my mind. The implication being that of course it's not hard to learn and become an expert in a few short lessons - let's not break a sweat! The question is born out of ignorance, but it can be difficult to answer without making someone mad. The short answer is "No". The long answer is, "Professional Dancer X has spent at least 10 years perfecting her art form and spent hundreds of dollars on lessons and rehearsal space. I can teach you something basic in a short time, but if you want to dance like Professional Dancer X, it will take longer than a few weeks." I usually put a big smile on my face and hope for the best!

4. Does your mother know you do this?
Usually asked by a kindly elderly lady with a concerned look on her face. Yes. My mother knows I do this, she loves seeing my videos and photos although she has never attended a show since she lives half a country away from me. I have no doubt she would be front row center if she could!

5. I bet your husband/boyfriend really likes that you do this?!
This one is usually asked by a slightly leering male. I can be covered head to toe with elaborate turbans and not an inch of flesh showing other than my hands and feet and still get this question. My answer goes something like this, "Not really. It costs tons of money to keep up my training and costumes and travel and I'm teaching most nights of the week. So for him it kind of sucks!" Smile and walk away...

There are tons more, but those are currently my favorite one!